Gate Man Diversions

Imagine for a moment that you are the security chappie at your office, the chappie you always ignore just outside the office gate or front desk? (Ah! That rings a bell doesn’t it?)

I know that I personally ignore some of them, though I don’t see why I do it. What do you think passes his mind when each of us walks in, in the morning to sign the register?

Perhaps this is what you’d think if you were in his shoes:

“There’s that poor boy who doesn’t know the writing end of a pen from the butt end. I hope he knows his…”

Pen-is-a-mystery signs his name and shuffles on. And there behind him is…

“Ugh…I didn’t see him coming. Typical of the creep! Letch! Only yesterday he was eying the cleaning woman. And look at that stupid smile on his stupid mug.”

Letch sails past with an up-yours grin as if he’s read your mind. But you don’t have time, because angel-face just drove in the gate.

“Morning ma’am” you almost scrape your nose while jumping to the assistance of angel-face who is struggling out of her car, balancing her laptop, while you think “mommy look at those…” and sigh quietly.

You’re awoken rudely from your sugar trip by a hearty slap on your bottom by the loud, super-size ‘madam’ who always smells of cigars. You catch a sly wink and shudder as you catch your own breath. Golly! There’s something else you didn’t see coming.

“Good morning madam” you manage weakly as your face recovers its color.

Super-size throws another well-sized wink in your direction before you can duck under cover behind your small-small desk.

“Phew! That was close. Was that a slap on my bottom or was that a whack on my back…” You can’t quite decide because in walks…

“Miss Haughty High Heels to the accompaniment of an invisible band...”