Good! Now as calmly and deftly as you can, put both palms on your cheeks, fingers slightly spread.
No. No. The other cheeks. You are not being taught to burp…
With the lesson so far? Excellent!
You are now in the launch mode.
Shhh! No sobbing in there. And shhh… No guttural intonations either. And… what?
Ok. Ok. We’ll cut the crap. Now spread your cheeks as wide as you can to allow free passage for the fiend.
Wait! Did you check for inflammable material on your person or immediate surroundings? Do… waaa… What did you just fling into outer orbit! Your lighter? Ok!
And wait! Do you have an exhaust running on kingdom-come-or-bust mode, well above your head? You do! And your palms are firmly on cheeks? Yes? Hallelujah…
All systems are go dude!