So you know how to squirm. You know how to jam lock your release valve to prevent untimely escape of the wind genie. You even know how to blush a bright pink, come Armageddon.
Now learn how to pass the stinker with the finesse of a diplomat.
The trick, to begin with, is to release with at least token camouflage.
If you work on a shop floor you are one of those twice blessed ones who needn’t care a rats arse about the consequences of suspicious shifts in decibel and odor levels in your immediate surrounding. You are well camouflaged any way. And a fart or two wouldn’t bring the roof down.
But if you work in a nice-nice office with nice-nice people, you better learn up quick about out-smarting the flatulence genie before it’s too late.
Let’s suppose you’re at your nice-nice desk when the genie stirs within and gets progressively annoying. No amount of tightening your rear musculature is going to discourage escape. In fact you’ll only be walking into a highly explosive situation when the said musculature would willing give way, not unlike the pressure cooker on a bad day.
So before it gets fiendish, you must slowly slip to the rest room.
Of course, nice-nice offices have nice-nice rest rooms. Make sure you have your all-is-well smile firmly in place. And don’t squirm as you make a beeline for the launch pad. That’s a dead give away.
To be continued…
4 comments:
Dodie....this is too good, I am waiting to read part 2. Hurry!!!!
oh kewl, someone actually reads this blog. (to think that i actually had to send this puppy a mail with the post title... sob, sob, sob...)
blossomme baby kuttee, ees u listenings?
baby kuuti listens and repliessss... ais but i wonderings, why you hidings fart? ewe should be proud, no?
blossome: ais, ais, i proudly of my farts wonly. but no apreciating connessiuer. i waat doos?
rums: thank you. ugh...there's more to come.
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