Garbage Mails. Why Do I get Them?

A mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails:

I want to thank all my friends and family for having so considerately forwarded chain letters to me in 2005. Because of your kindness:

I’ve stopped drinking Coca Cola, after I found that it's better at removing toilet stains.

I’ve stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on needles that spread AIDS.

I smell like my dog on a bad day, since I’ve stopped using deodorants. I found out they cause cancer.

I’ve stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill listing calls to Uganda, Singapore and Cayman Islands.

I’ve also stopped drinking anything out of a can as I found out that they invariably contain additives of rat shit and piss.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I hate to admit it but I’ve donated all my savings to a sick girl who was about to die in hospital. She’s been seven since 1993.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

I still can’t resist helping someone from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle’s property of zillion dollars and make a killing in the bargain.

I’ve made a million wishes before forwarding those Ganesh Vandana and Tirupathi Balaji pictures. Most of those wishes are now married to someone else.

It’s your turn now. Forward this mail to twelve dozen people in twelve different countries, in the next twelve minutes or a crow will empty its sickly bowels on your miserable head, soon as you step out today. And on the first of every month for the next twelve years.

I simply loved this. That's why it's up here. I recieved it in mail this morning. Thank you Yoga.

1 comment:

Sensorcaine said...

Lol.:D sad, but true. A few more things I'd like to add to that list:
I carry a gallon of water to restaurants, pubs, bars and other pulic places, lest I wake the next morning in a sleazy hotel with 35 used condoms strewn around me.

I have come to the conclusion that teh reason my great grand aunt twice removed died an untimely death at the age of 92 is because ill luck befell me the day i deleted a chain mail had has been around the world four times, and had been in circulation since 1857, though how they sent e-mails in those days is a mystery to me.