Refuse This!

I wonder if you do this.

Ugh… how do I put it, delicately? Ok, take my head. I’ll put it straight to you. Do you… ugh… arrange it so that you discard only while you are at office? You know…the poop thing? Or do you know someone who does?

While you’re still smiling or killing the disgust, I’d like to remind you that it’s rather a nice diversion. Don’t you think? I bet it’s better than bitching, nail biting, lolling about the coffee machine, bumming cigarettes or hanging over someone’s cubicle like full-grown moss, trying to read their email or peek into their lunch boxes.

Granted that unlike the coffee thing, you can’t do it often. Oh no. It would then turn out to be… I don’t know what. It wouldn’t be politically correct to have unplugged bowels, though a hiatus or two from work (a poop break or two) without the bitching, nail biting and assorted pastimes I’ve mentioned above, would do us all a world of good.

Now that I’ve advocated it, I’m beginning to shudder thinking about the logistics. No wait, I’m beginning to quake. Omigawd, this would call for an all-new legislation. (You’ll forgive me while I make my hasty retreat won’t you? I never imagined…)